The call of the wild…sort of


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It’s Halloween night, 1983. Foregoing the traditional festive garb (superheros, vampires, dead presidents), we opted for something a bit more controversial.

I’m not referring to the androgynous creature on the left. Pathetic attempt. Who wears a full-bodied rabbit costume, but then leaves the face exposed? It’s embarrassing enough you agreed to wear it. But brandishing your face means you want people to know who you are so they can punch you.

My sister (second from left) somehow saw the catastrophe coming down the pike that year and opted for the cheerleader cop-out. Whatever. If you look closely, I think there’s an “H” missing from her shirt.

Then there’s me. Not much to say here other than, “yeah, it’s a kick-ass costume.” Mom made it for me (obviously). I especially love the black trim around the eyes and mouth. I couldn’t see sh*t that night – the holes were wider than my ocular cavities.  And it smelled awful inside. Probably didn’t help that I was an infrequent bather back then. But at least my Ewok costume didn’t resemble…

A Shiite Grizzly bear! I mean what the hell? Is that a burqa on Mohammed’s head or is he a racist carnivore? At least my baller costume didn’t subject me to “random” security searches at airports. Of course, maybe he just didn’t know any better? Just look at that droopy right eye and ear misalignment. Perhaps Sloth didn’t know the irony of a black bear sporting a white hoodie.

[Now it's your turn. Add your own color commentary in the Comments section and I'll post the most creative response later this week. Winner will receive an autographed version of this photo.]

BEST REPLY: Umm . . . as a rather big Star Wars fan I can say with certainty that there were never any light gold colored ewoks. The costume is more akin to Fozzy (waka waka waka muppet) who recently decided to eat some poop and then rub it in his eyes.

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Unemployed, but trying.
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6 Responses to The call of the wild…sort of

  1. Charles says:

    “I think there’s an “H” missing from her shirt.” – Hilarious

  2. Sis says:

    I think Patty would like that her son resembles a terrorist.

  3. Wife says:

    Umm . . . as a rather big Star Wars fan I can say with certainty that there were never any light gold colored ewoks. The costume is more akin to Fozzy (waka waka waka muppet) who recently decided to eat some poop and then rub it in his eyes.

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